I’ve always had a sneaky suspicion that the 3-4 learning styles’ defined in learning style theories and models such as VARK (Visual, Reading, Reading, Kinesthetic) that all ‘learners’ are slotted into are perhaps an over-simplification. 

It is after all mainly designed for the use of teachers in a mass education system, where speed and scale are central: they don’t have the luxury of treating each child as unique. Parents on the other hand have no such excuse. 

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While we are all interested in understanding our child’s preferred learning style, and providing individualized learning opportunities for them, I personally feel slotting our children into convenient labels of how students learn is not optimal. 

After all, even in my own personal experience, I would say the way I learn keeps changing and evolving as do I as a person; and at the same time, the way I learn different things is not consistent. 

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For example, when it comes to learning sports, I prefer to learn by doing, and when it comes to an intellectual pursuit, I first like to read expansively, form a ‘big picture’ in my mind, and then zero in on specific aspects of the topic. I supplement reading with videos and podcasts to deep-dive into certain aspects. 

I can't imagine it's too different for students learning any subject or skill. 

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Here are the top 10 things I have learnt about learning styles, in the context of children:

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1. Learning style is a spectrum

Every child has their own learning style – but this style is not static – it will change and evolve, based on the context, circumstances, their mood, who is present in the room, what they want to achieve from the effort and many other variables!

2. There is no right way or wrong way to learn

As parents we need to let go of our beliefs and preconceived notions about how learning should be done and give them the space to do it their way (experiments and wrong turns are part of the learning process – let’s not deny them the joy of discovery by sharing our ‘wisdom’ prematurely!)  

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3. Giving the child space to learn

Not imposing our view/ way does not mean we are non-active participants or disengaged from their learning process. It only means we are not getting in their way with our own notions or ideas. We are very much present, available and tuned in to what the child is doing, and actively working to provide a positive learning environment in which learning can thrive.

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4. Parents as facilitators

Responding to the child’s needs and adding value with questions and suggestions, access to resources, and any other inputs or exposure is a vital role in the learning process. Ask yourself what you really want – do you want to understand your child and their needs, or do you want them to learn your way to fulfill your needs?  ‘Do you want to teach the child or reach the child’? 

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5. Does facilitation mean not having our say at all? 

As one of my friends puts it, ‘It’s important to reach the child but it’s also important to reach yourself’. Sharing our own perspective is our prerogative (and our need!), but taking a suggestion is the child’s prerogative. It could however help the child appreciate that there are multiple points of view to any decision, and that they are free to pick and choose from diverse available perspectives.

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6. Competitiveness (skill/ motivator/ style) is different from competition (format)

I tend to think of being competitive as undesirable, focusing more on enjoying the process. But my child enjoys doing activities with achievement milestones. Enjoying scoring/ competing with the self and being motivated by winning points or scores is not the same as wanting or needing to be in a competition format.

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7. Copying is a very normal learning strategy. So is not copying! 

Children or even adults see how others are doing something and do the same/ modify it to suit themselves, and choose their own ‘teachers’ to ‘cheat’ or copy from. On the other hand, some children may not wish to take any external resources or inputs at all, learning instead from their own imagination or experimentation. Resist the temptation to stop them from reinventing the wheel! To become lifelong learners, they need to own their learning journey.

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8. Separate content from style

It’s common for younger siblings to do what elder siblings are doing. The content (what) may be same, but observe closely and you will find each one’s style of doing (how) the same activity will be unique. Film them doing a common activity (for example, playing cricket), and show them how they both (and possibly Virat Kohli) approach the same activity in their own style. This will not only help them (and you!) accept that there are multiple ways to do or learn the same activity but also feel assured that ‘their own way’ is as valid and legitimate as someone else’s.

9. Try doing things their way

If your child has a unique way of doing something (say eating or tidying up or wearing their shoes), try doing it their way/ style. Not only will they appreciate that learning and copying is a multi-directional activity, but you will all get a few good laughs out of it too. Most importantly, doing something new, or something familiar in a new way makes us more empathetic to other people’s learning journey! 

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10. Have fun! 

There are as many learning styles as there are people, and that’s the beauty of it! Enjoy the journey of observing and learning more about how your child learns!

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Also read:

The Ultimate Guide to Learning Styles in Early Learners, Tweens and Teens

5 Facts About Effective Learning for all Parents

The Ask-Observe-Share Learning Technique Your Should Try With Your Child Today!