Elon Musk says problem solving is the most important skill of the century - and I agree. 

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Most teaching today is tool-centric. For example, we start a biology class by explaining every single tool in the lab and what it's for. Instead, suggests Musk in a TV interview last year, if we were to just present the children with the problem - any problem: from the problem of Evergreen stuck in the Suez Canal to space junk to a broken machine or bicycle - and give them a set of possible tools to work with, they will figure out what they need, and use it to solve the problem.

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When they figure out for themselves what each tool does best, through a learning process that will surely take more time than ‘telling them what does what’, it will stay with them far more effectively than simply telling them everything they ‘need to know’.

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Why does that happen? Because when they figure for themselves, via their own process, what each tool can do (trust me, they will automatically, without once being told, start using the screwdriver to unscrew screws!), the tools start to have meaning for them personally. And there is scope for innovation because they aren’t constrained by rules about what each tool can or should be used for. 

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And for real learning to happen, we humans need to make meaning. Otherwise, it's just information that we don't know what to do with really. 

We store it for a while (maybe till exams) and then forget about it. 

It finds no permanent place to reside in our brain. 

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The Problem with Being Taught: The Problem of the Singing Dog

Unfortunately, as I said, so much of education today is only about being taught a whole lot of academic stuff, that the actual learner - the key stakeholder in this entire process - is relegated to a position of zero agency, zero control over their own learning process. 

This reminds me of a story I heard in the amazing Aarohi Jagriti Program - a little boy makes an excited announcement - “I have taught my dog how to sing! I have taught my dog how to sing!”. 

A curious crowd gathers, and asks the boy to show them this singing dog. The boy says a few commands to the dog, and the dog barks back as any dog would. The crowd grows irritated, saying “You said you have taught your dog to sing! Yet this dog only barks like any normal dog!”. “Yes, I said I have taught my dog to sing - I never said my dog has learnt how to sing!!”

Education in the 21st century, it seems from all accounts, will be less about teaching and more about learning, less teacher-centric and more learner-centric. At least on paper, from what one reads in policy documents and educational manifestos, this seems promising. 

However, how that translates in reality remains to be seen. As long as teachers are underpaid and undervalued, even as the ‘educational trusts’ that run schools grow richer and richer, I do not see this becoming a reality. 

Whether education becomes more about learning than teaching in the near future or not, life always has been and will always be about learning. If growth and impact are something you want for your child, then even more so. Learning is central to living. To learn, you don’t need content instruction as much as you need learning to learn skills. 

Schools are great for content dissemination. But they cannot help build a learning mindset, learning skills or learning techniques.

Have you ever seen a course on your child’s syllabus called “How to Learn Better?” or “How to Be a Lifelong Learner” or even “Effective Learning Skills for the 21st Century”?

Building effective learning abilities has to begin early, at home, with the parents.

3 Critical Learning Skills Our Kids Won’t Be Taught In School 

1. Asking questions
2. Experimentation
3. Failing

If you are an avid reader of curriculums like I am (!), then you know that nowhere, at no age, do these topics appear on any school curriculum today. Can you really teach a person to ask questions, be a fearless experimenter, or fail?

 I don’t think so. But I do believe parents can create the right learning environment at home that naturally enables children to learn these skills on their own, as a natural and organic part of their learning process.

1. Asking questions

Our culture - including the educational system - is so focused on providing and finding answers that we forget the value of asking smart, intelligent, appropriate questions in that process. My story may sound familiar to a lot of parents born in the 70’s. 

 At school, I remember being given really nasty glares by my teachers for ‘asking too many questions’ - a trait naturally associated with ‘not understanding something’. 

Not understanding was viewed negatively by teachers, rather than as a natural phase of learning something! When you are trying to learn something new and unfamiliar, naturally there will be a phase when you do not, in fact, understand, and are trying to make meaning of it. 

At this critical juncture, if you are discouraged from asking questions, you quite quickly learn to ‘fake’ your understanding of the topic just to avoid the unpleasantness of that stare. Alternately, asking questions could also get you labeled as a trouble maker, someone who is challenging the teacher's absolute authority. 2+2 is 4 because I SAY SO! How many parental heads are nodding in familiarity right now?!

However, if you look at any of the most inventive, successful, awesome people who have made an impact on our planet, then you'll see that they are really good at asking questions. 

Asking questions helps our children create meaning from information, and leads to real learning. Without meaning, it’s not learning, it's just words or concepts with no bearing on our reality. It is just stored information that we cannot recall, connect or apply over the long term. Asking questions empowers our children to make more informed, smarter decisions.

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Unfortunately, schools will not be able to teach this skill. 

Parents, on the other hand, play a crucial role in helping children to learn better questioning skills. 

2. Experimentation

You know the cliche. Experience is the best teacher. So, why does our teaching rob children of the process of experiencing, discovering and learning something the original way? From early man experimenting with stones and flint to make fire, to modern man experimenting in science labs with everything from plant-based meat to ….viruses, why do we not make experimentation a part of daily living and learning?

By experimentation, I am not referring to the sterile version of school science labs where the conditions are highly controlled, all supplies provided, the process defined, and outcomes pre-decided. In the school science lab, the goal of ‘experiments’ is not discovery. It's simply to see for themselves what's already been done - and proven- before.

So what is experimentation or experimenting? In the learning context, I would define experimenting as questioning and reflecting on any phenomena, investigating the causes that may lead to that phenomena, exploring changes in outcomes by introducing diverse catalysts and stimulants, and finally, after many failures and wrong turns, being able to objectively and critically observe, analyze and apply the findings to further our learning goals. 

This definition of experimentation sounds very technical (but honestly, it’s just my own unscientific but heartfelt words) but in practice, it’s as simple as being curious about something, following that curiosity with a process - a natural learning process of trials, stimulation and provocations - and coming to an informed decision about the subject of your curiosity based on the observations and trials. 

In my view, there are a few reasons why we discourage the experimentation mindset in our children without even realizing we are doing so. 

First, we as parents like to sound all-knowing. When children ask us ‘why is the sky blue’, we feel compelled to ‘explain to them the rationale, logic and science’ behind it, eager not to miss this ‘teachable moment.’ By doing so, we rob the child of the opportunity to think in different directions and come up with their own theories and possibly discoveries. 

By grabbing that ‘teachable moment’ we also rob ourselves of an opportunity to get to know our child’s way of thinking, reasoning and observing natural phenomena. A big loss.

Second, we want to keep our children safe, away from harm. So if they go near a plug point, we yell ‘that is a no-no’ without any reasonable explanation. If they go near the edge of the terrace, we yell, in our most alarmed voice ‘step back from there! That is dangerous!’.

Not only do we make the child lose their own instinct and start depending on others to look out for them, we again rob them of a moment to experience and learn. Instead, try gently calling their name to distract them from any imminent danger, and instead of giving instructions, we could explore their curiosity about that event with them. How? Asking questions!

Next, we associate the term ‘experiment’ too rigidly with two things: science and behavior. So, either experiments are meant to build a ‘scientific temper’ in our children, or, we talk of it in the context of child psychology: ‘it’s natural for a child to experiment with smoking in their teens’ etc. 

In my view, parents need to free the idea of experimentation from silos and boxes, and sit back and revel in their child exploring the world with wonder and reflecting on their experiences. Encourage them, participate in their experiment, and ask as many questions of your own, if possible, for the magic of effective learning to unfold.

3. Failing

Ah! Failing. What can I say about failing in a culture that is obsessed with success, and sees success and failures as two opposite poles? Success good. Failure bad.

Schools themselves are businesses, and are terrified of failing. They want to avoid it at all costs. Each teacher sees a child failing or making mistakes as a professional failure in her duties, and will try to avoid it at all costs.

Parents see a child making mistakes or failing as a personal failure, as a judgment on their parenting, and wish to avoid it at all costs. What is that cost? In all cases, it is the child’s ability to leverage failure as one of the greatest learning tools. 

Failing is key to learning- any great inventor, discoverer, adventurer and achiever will tell you that. We read it in books, magazines and hear it in TED talks and other motivational videos. We know this. And yet. Yet. 

Why do we avoid failure like the plague? 

Why do we offer consolation or censure when our child fails at something? Why not celebrate failure? Why not celebrate mistakes? Why not reflect on them and make the most of them? Now that is a teachable opportunity we miss all too often!!!

We rely instead on bribes, threats, and admonitions to motivate our child to move beyond a negative incident - all futile, I can guarantee you. Worse, you will alienate your child, impair their trust and lose credibility each time you yourself fail (which being human, of course you will.)

Parents Are Key to Helping Children Learn Questioning Skills, Fearless Experimentation, and The Art of Failing

The 3 learning skills that simply cannot be taught are: experimentation, asking questions, and making mistakes. These have to be lived, experienced, reflected upon, and evolved over time. And when this process happens within a learning mindset, it soon becomes intrinsic to your child's unique effective learning strategy.

And since there is no formula for learning, each child will have their own unique learning process, journey and tool set. Our job as parents is to encourage the learning mindset, help them with a positive learning environment, and be an able and willing facilitator on their amazing, wondrous learning journey! 

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Also read:

Why Only Parents Can Truly Help Kids Build Their 4C Skills

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